


You Look Like Yourself, But You're Somebody Else

by ShiloBarns



Series: What We Live For [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, M/M, eren is 18, rated t for cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiloBarns/pseuds/ShiloBarns
Summary: Levi slams the door behind him, but hears Eren wrench it back open seconds later. He stops in front of his desk but doesn’t turn around, “Get out Eren.”OrThe fight that leads to Eren's self sacrificing mission.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Series: What We Live For [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931566
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	You Look Like Yourself, But You're Somebody Else

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place between [After All This Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524009) and [Coming Back to You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559382/chapters/64745974). I recommend starting at the beginning of the series for context, but you don't have to necessarily read them in a certain order. 
> 
> Title from [ You're Somebody Else ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVdPh2cBTN0) by Flora Cash.

Levi slams the door behind him, but hears Eren wrench it back open seconds later. He stops in front of his desk but doesn’t turn around, “Get out Eren.”

“No, Levi you can’t do this.”

Levi whirls around and stalks forward. “No, Eren. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Levi…”

“Stop. First off, your superior officer is explicitly giving you an order, and secondly you know the rules Eren.”

“Levi we can’t just leave them to die!”

“I am not risking my soldier’s lives to go save some newbie cadets who didn’t know what they were doing!”

“Levi, you-”

Levi steps closer and jabs his finger into Eren’s chest. “No. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up for the scouts. They agreed to give their lives for the good of humanity. You know the rules Eren, you get split off, you don’t make it back to the rendezvous point, you’re left on your own. We can’t risk an entire regiment on a few dumb cadets!”

“They’re not just some dumb cadets Levi. They’re scouts, don’t you feel at least a little bit responsible for them?” Eren’s face gets tighter, and the tension in the room builds. 

“Of course I do Eren! But like I said before, they knew what they were getting into. I was explicitly clear from day one that this posting is one of the most dangerous out there! I told them to their faces that they would most likely die, just like I told you!” Levi turns away, but Eren reaches forward and grabs his arm before he can walk away.

“You can’t be serious! You’re in charge of them! They were following _your orders Levi!_ ”

“Just like you should be.” Levi pulls his arm out of Eren’s bruising grasp. 

Eren ignores him and continues on, his voice growing louder. “They blindly followed you, and trusted you with their lives!”

“If they had followed my orders, they would have returned with the rest of the regiment.”

“You can’t fault them for their lack of experience Levi! That’s why they’re here! To train!”

“Maybe they should have trained harder and paid more attention.”

Eren throws his hands up in disbelief. “You can’t be serious, what would you do if I was out there?”

“That’s not fair Eren, and you know it’s not.”

“Maybe it’s not Levi, but leaving them out there to die isn’t fair either. You would come after me and you know it.”

Levi furrows his brows and steps closer, “Well if you feel so fucking responsible, _you_ go after them!”

“This isn’t you Levi, you don’t even sound like yourself. You’re supposed to be ‘humanity’s strongest’! You’re not supposed to just give up!” 

“No Eren! I’m not letting you endanger our whole operation for some kids who are already dead.”

Eren’s face morphs from irritation, to disbelief, and then anger.

“ _Fine_.” Eren turns around and starts to walk out of Levi’s office. 

Levi shouts after him, “You leave, and you’re dead Eren! I’m not coming after you.”

“Good, wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself for some _lowly cadet_.” Eren bites. He turns slightly with one hand on the door, “God Levi, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Eren slams the door behind him.

Levi’s hands form fists at his sides. He turns back to face his office, breathing harshly. Levi erupts. “DAMNIT!” He slams both fists on his desk. “DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!” Levi backs away and starts to pace the room. 

“Fuck!” His hands come up to pull on his hair as he turns to walk into his washroom. When he catches a glimpse of his red face in the mirror he snaps again. He rips his hands out of his hair and places one on the washbasin. Levi reels back and slams the other into the mirror in front of him. 

He stares as the cracks spider web across the surface and distort his reflection. Eren is right. Levi does feel at least partially responsible. He can feel the guilt of having to leave those cadets behind stacked on top of all the other guilt he’s accumulated over his lifetime. 

Levi straightens and walks back to his office. He needs to think about this. Levi can’t just let Eren run off by himself into titan country.  
Levi opens the door and leaves his office, scanning the hallways as he goes. Eren probably went back to his bunk to talk to Armin and Mikasa, he knows he can’t do this alone. 

When Levi reaches the bunks he finds only Armin. The cadet looks up, obviously surprised to see his Captain. “Sir?”

“Where’s Eren?”

“Uh, I don’t know sir, I thought he went to talk to you?”

 _Shit_. Levi turns around and runs towards the stables in the courtyard. He flings open the door and rushes in. Just as he thought, there are several horses gone, and one of them is Eren’s.

Levi rushes back into the dark thinking that maybe he can intercept Eren before he leaves the compound. Levi runs through the courtyard and to the edge of the encampment, but there’s no sign of Eren. 

Eren’s run off into titan country with only a few other cadets to retrieve a group of scouts that may or may not be already dead. Levi collapses to his knees on the cold hard ground as grief overtakes him.


End file.
